This article is for all the moments you were in a group setting, and you felt like you were invisible. Moreover, it is for those of you, whose opinions aren’t heard nor asked for, even though you feel like you are doing all you can to contribute.
I will help you understand why people, don’t ask for your opinion and I will show you the ways to fix that. Keep in mind, there are several avenues to fix the problem, and some might require firmer and more daring action, while others might only require time and persistence.
What causes the problem?
Most often, people will fail to ask fellow members for their opinion or contribution for the simple reason they haven’t established the needed trust or relationship with them. Moreover, they have established a perception of you which doesn’t make them penchant to ask for your thoughts. This perception likely includes:
- You may not be perceived as a leader or authority figure
- You may not be perceived as qualified
- You might be perceived as uninterested
- They perceive the relationship with you as unyielding
The problem might also persist because..
Sometimes within groups, there are more dominant and vocal people. They will likely not give the word, which is where you can intervene. If you notice, the opinion of certain members is being dismissed or disacknowledged, it is your duty to speak up against the issue. This will likely, make others respect you more, and in addition, it will also provide room for your voice.
In addition, if a person is closed-minded, they are likely to refute everything, rather than contemplate with you. For this reason, it is possible, that you hear the voice of all members and you try to see and work towards their side of view, without letting anyone’s opinion be unheard, however, you must not expect that others will do the same. Such expectations will only lead to disappointment, because people are who they are, and not who you imagine them to be.
How to resolve the problem?
Even though you consider your opinion valuable and of great contribution, others might not see it the way you do. And even though witnessing a team member neglect your opinion can hurt, you must never try to seek the fault within them.
It is your duty to identify and understand the precise cause of the problem. Some actionable advice includes:
- Define the relationship, with the members who aren’t seeking your opinion. Does it need improvement? Is there trust? How long will it take to establish a decent relationship? How do I establish it?
- Secondly, interrupt the dominant members, and be an advocate for the people whose opinion is being neglected. Ask them to be more considerate of others. People will likely become more considerate when around you.
- Thirdly, and most daringly – Ask them how they perceive you, it will likely give you a lot of reasons to help you understand why they fail to ask for your opinion. Don’t change yourself but help them change the way they perceive you.
- Lastly, don’t be superficial. Instead, be their friend, and build a relationship upon your acquaintance. Show them through actions that you value the interaction and relationship with them
Conclusion
In order to eradicate the problem, you must look for it within. Blaming others for not having asked for your opinion will lead you nowhere. People are who they are, and you cannot change them. Inquiring them, to ask for your opinion more often, will only backfire.
Instead, what you should do is establish trust. You must take it upon yourself to build a relationship upon your acquaintance with them. In order to make your voice heard, you must shift their perception to help them see the value and prolificacy of your relationship. Having established that trust, you will not only fix your problem, but you will also open the door for new friendships and opportunities.
Traveling can be a stressful and terrifying experience, but it doesn’t have to be.
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